WHAT MATTERS THE MOST?
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Yunho gasped for the air that seemed to be thickening every minute that they sat there; his gaze swept over Changmin’s. Both were flickering with some sort of tension and strain. The youngest of them all suddenly looked much older than he was. There was a deep crease in between his dark eyebrows. Changmin was obviously thinking hard.
“Don’t worry Eomeoni... Jaejoong is safe. I know he is. He just needs time to rest and clear up his head.” Yunho smiled reassuringly at Mrs. Kim, Jaejoong’s mother. The older woman had been clasping her wrinkled hands over Yunho’s, anchoring towards him like as if she’d be blown away by the wicked storm created by her own son otherwise.
“I hope he’s going to his real mother. I can’t think any other place he would be.” Mrs. Kim sobbed the words, and concern deeply adorned her features.
“Yes, we hope so too Eomeoni... Maybe he’s with her. We have to wait for his call. I’m sure he’ll call.” Yunho smiled again, trying his best to look confident. He hated lying to his elders. His heart ached too much thinking of his other three members.
Mrs. Kim released Yunho’s hands, only to pull him into her embrace. “Take good care of yourself, Yunho. Tell me if Jaejoongie calls you and tell him his dad is dead worried about him.” She pulled the silent Changmin into her embrace too. “You too Changminnie...”
“Eomeoni, don’t worry. I’ll call you if I hear anything, okay?” Changmin rubbed Mrs. Kim’s back, calming the sobbing woman down. “Do you want me to send you home?” He asked well naturedly.
Mrs. Kim shook her head, and then smiled wiping her wet face with her small handkerchief and stood up from the sofa she had been sitting on for half an hour. “My daughter will fetch me. Is Junsu okay?” There was deep concern in her eyes when she mentioned Junsu’s name.
Simultaneously when the three of them reached the white door with Junsu’s name on it, Mrs. Park walked out. There were streams of tears dripping down her cheeks. Changmin grabbed her shoulder and pull her into a tight hug. He felt very weak around crying women.
“What is happening to all of our sons?” asked Mrs. Park when Mrs. Kim started to hug her too. Both were trying to comfort to each other. “I can’t reach Yoochun at all. I’m dead worried over Ayden, and Yoochun had barely taken care of him before... What if anything happens to Ayden? What if anything happens to Yoochun???” Mrs. Park was no longer crying her eyes out, but her shriveled voice filled with worry killed them all inside.
Changmin felt Yunho’s hand on his shoulder. He knew Yunho felt the same. Deep in his heart, he wanted to skin all three of his hyungs alive for making their mothers cry like this. How they could all be this irresponsible was far beyond logic.
The beeping sound coming from the white door-room intensified the tension. When Yunho pulled the door open, they could see Junsu’s mom, sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed crying silently over her comatose son. The whole situation was heart wrenching. He wished all of this was just a dream; a cruel nightmare where everybody was just accidentally involved.
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They walked along the empty hallway silently.
“Mrs. Kim told me Junsu loved Yoochun. Is it true?” Mrs. Park was the first one who broke the sickening silence. She looked straight into Yunho’s wide eyes. He stopped walking briskly, as if he was shocked by the news told by Mrs. Park. “Did my son love him back? He loves him too?” She asked him for the second time, seeking honesty from Yunho.
Yunho felt a huge lump coming up his throat. He didn’t even know how to answer that question. He felt useless all of sudden. The only sound that came out was a deep sigh. Mrs. Park was still looking at him, intently waiting for his answer. “I don’t have any answer for that Eomeoni. I’m not the right person to tell you anything. I, myself is confused right now. Yoochun never told me anything about his feelings for Junsu.” He told the truth and watched older woman push her bangs over her left ear.
Her beautiful face was marred with tear stains and a frown. Her look reminded him of Yoochun. Mrs. Park nodded her head a couple of times, and started her strides again. The sound of her heels echoed down the vacant hallway.
“Does it matter, Eomeoni?” Yunho couldn’t stop himself from voicing his curiosity. His question managed to stop Mrs. Park from continuing her elegant yet tired strides.
“Does what matter, Yunho-sshi?”
“Does it matter to you if he loves Junsu?”
“.........”
“Does it matter to you if he loves a man?”
“No, I just want my son back, safe and healthy...” Mrs. Park replied after a long silence. There was tranquility in her voice. “I hope he didn’t underfeed Ayden. He always did—always forgetting Ayden’s existence... He always tried to show that Ayden didn’t matter to him. I know he’s afraid of hurting Ayden, so he keeps his distance, letting Jaejoongie take over his place...” Mrs. Park continued her walk, telling Yunho her worries.
Yunho kept himself quiet, noticing every single thing Mrs. Park was saying was the truth. Ever since Ayden moved in with Yoochun and his family, Yoochun acted as if Ayden was his neighbour’s son. He treated him nicely, but that was it; nicely, not fatherly. He kept his distance from Ayden. Jaejoong who had noticed Yoochun’s lack of fatherly concern tried so hard to make Ayden feel at home and loved. All of them did the same. They loved Ayden. He himself had been thinking of Ayden as his own son.
“That’s why I’m worried. I wish I could talk to both of them right now.” Mrs. Park sighed.
“Look at it from different angle, Eomeoni. Maybe Yoochunnie was trying to get close to Ayden. We know he loves him more than anything. He’ll never let anything or anyone hurt Ayden, I’m sure of it. Plus, looking at the situation now with no press bursting into the ward, I bet SM had done something to stop the media from putting more pressure to us.” Yunho convinced Mrs. Park. He knew that SM covered Junsu’s OD and Jaejoong’s runaway from the media to protect their own sake, though.
He heard Mrs. Park chuckle. “I hope so, Yunho-sshi... I really hope so...” Her eyes were gleaming with a sudden bright hope. Yunho could see it perfectly, so he gave her his best comforting smile, trying to comfort her and his chaotic heart at the same time.
to be continued....
photo credits: google.com
1 comment:
akhirnya..
really waiting for this!
love it! :)
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