Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

i'll only write down the thing i hate the most about myself, coz if i write them all, i might have to submit myself to the sanatorium for immediate treatment! lols! ok, here we go!


aku cantik, lawa, manis, comel, cool, baik hati, pemalu, rajin, penyabar, sopan santun, pemaaf, pandai, kaya, peramah  n kelakar... NOT AT ALL <.< tp aku suke pretend aku sume yg di atas. aku x suke diri aku yg prasan itu.


aku cantik, lawa, manis, comel, cool, baik hati, pemalu, rajin, penyabar, sopan santun, pemaaf, pandai, kaya, peramah  n kelakar... NOT AT ALL <.< tp aku suke hipokrit mcm aku ni perfect sgt. sbb aku rase kalo aku x wat citu, kang org nmpk kekurangan aku.


so it's all turning back at my inferiority... or is this also a NOT AT ALL? coz sometimes, that inferiority is a total fake too... hahaha! i hate my complicated self... i look at things waaay too serious that i myself get sick of me being like that.


but then again, whenever i didn't take things seriously, i easily get stressed out sbb menyesal x cuba sedaya upaya... there u go, another thing that i hate about myself... think too much n love to regret...


bila fikir bnyk sgt, then takut menyesal, aku jd indecisive. aku plg benci x bole nk buat keputusan. tp aku slalu mcm tu... tambah lagi walaupon muke aku garang, tp hati aku ni fragile gila kalah ice crystal, makanya mudah saje org nk goyahkan hati aku dgn kata2...


hah! amik satu lagi! hati cepat goyah dgn kata2 manis pujuk rayu... padahal aku ni tersangat la degil n bad tempered! kalo ckp, nk aku je yg betul... tp ntah cane bole plak hati keras aku ni goyah, kalo kena dgn ayat n caranya mmg aku ni sekejap je bole cair... silap2 mengalir air mata...cis! aku benci jd terlalu sensitif...


maybe aku lembutkan hati sbb aku tanak rase lonely? sbb aku plg takut takde kawan... aku plg takut kesunyian... padahal aku sndiri yg slalunye build up high wall around me so that nobody ever come close enough to knock it down... i hate myself yg slalu teragak2 nk percayakan org lain... susah nk percaya org lain sedangkan aku sendiri kdg2 x caya diri sndiri... inferior katekan...


see? complicated kn diri aku ni? tp aku suke gak diri aku yg complicated ni... tp pd masa yg same aku nyampah sbb aku wat sume bnde jd susah. baik utk diri aku mahupun org2 keliling aku... adekah aku split personality??? damn~ then i must hate my self too much neh?

now i felt exposed~